the internet improves my life. also ruins it. everyday.

Sometimes (alright let's be real... ALL THE TIME) I get online and either I stumble or find a link that's so delightful and wonderful and I laugh and think about how lucky I am. Whether it be a website selling the world's biggest gummi bear or this video about the human slinky:

Human-slinky by bbqkarubi

Or finally finding out about kittehroulette.

And then, inevitably, I will come across something immensely upsetting. LIKE THIS ARTICLE ABOUT "NEW" SUN SAFETY RULES!
NOOOOO!!
Sunblock no longer good enough. Now you have to wear an "antioxidant enriched moisturizer"! WHAT IS THAT. Or how about this:

"Old rule: A little sun is healthy—20 minutes three times a week allows your body to produce vitamin D.
New rule: It’s not smart to go out-of-doors unprotected."

Kids- the sun is your enemy. It does want to kill you. Do not leave your home without slathering up. At the very least you will get ugly looking from wrinkles and at the very worst you will DIE.

And I knowww that it's most likely bullshit, that you can go outdoors to get the mail without sunscreen and you'll live to tell the tale. My logical brain knows this. My grandfather is approaching 95 years old and lived and worked on a farm when sunscreen wasn't even a thought. But also my grandfather lived in Minnesota and didn't spend the summer laying outside in a bikini. In Florida.

And while I know this is likely advertising execs trying to manipulate me and I know I should resist... I can't. I pass the sunscreen aisle and my neurotic, anxiety prone, slightly hypochondriac self can't pass it up. Bought the sunscreen. Will wear it.
And of course at the end of the summer, I will find a mole that has most likely always been there and then convince myself I have cancer. Then half an hour later I will convince myself I am dying of cancer.

Damn you internet. Damn you.